How Do Older People Deal With Rejections Deal To Their Age In Dating?
I am hoping to get an answer for this question from a philosophical point of view: I am 40 and single. When I go out to meet people, I feel conscious about my age because I have noticed that men (no matter what their age) prefers younger female. I look at the younger female around, and I also agree myself that many of them are more attractive than I am. I compare myself with the ladies who are older than I am, and I find myself more lucky than they are in the dating scenes. No one want to be alone, but we are where we are now. The fact is that we are no longer as desirable physically. There are people who says that we should marry yourself first, and there are people who switch their efforts into volunteering, etc., but I know that deep inside, there is a void that we really want to fill….. To me, many of the advises of how to deal with aging are just ways to divert your attention to the facts and the inevitable. Are there better advises, perspectives out there?
Gotta grab the bull by the horns and try new approaches.
Failing that $100 should fix it
Learn to love the things you like about yourself. Remember no one at any age is perfect. You want someone who is real and they will want you to be the same.
Shouldn’t this question be relevant in relationship category? But anyways,
I am aging more than you ever know, but I feel as beautiful as ever physically and mentally. Of course men will always want younger women, but that shouldn’t be an argument at all, thus you shouldn’t feel like you are undesirable either. I am 38, divorced four years ago, single, never got into relationships after the marriage breakdown but this doesn’t eliminate the fact that i have my own life to live(excluding men). My world still revolves normally, and i still feel beautiful. Men, are the least of my worries, after two years of learning a bad name for them. A lot of men still aspires that i date them, but I don’t think that I can handle that anymore. having said this, I am also equipped and ready to face this world alone. Now tell me, what consolation did I get from men, that makes me adamantly say all these?
As to the aging part, think happy all the time, don’t be too reserved to let your quirks out now and then. Use moisturizers or so and most of all, refrain from make up use.
Now lighten up, that’s our job, filling up the dumpsite!!!!
By being stoic. Maturity demands an understanding of life’s vicissitudes including rejections. On the other hand, a more realistic objective should be pursued. Meaning that men of your age or older should be in your terrain. That sort you can get friendly with and make passes at. While not blanking out younger men, the onus should be on them (younger men) to disabuse your predisposition that they will reject you–or you them.
getting old sucks -i don’t recommend it. i’m fortyish too but luckily i don’t have to date(married)…i would hate to be the old guy at the club – although i probably would be if i was single…Honestly, i don’t know a forty year old that doesn’t want to date a 25 year old…theres nothing wrong with it…Hopefully you have enough money to find a young hottie… There’s someone for everyone – some people just take longer to find theirs. Keep trying.
older people … hmm… maybe theyre more mature about it.
There are lots of men out there who prefer a woman who has some experience with life, similar historical perspectives as their own and the view of life that only time can give one.
The men who prefer youngsters are usually looking only for sex and do not want relationships. The men who can appreciate and desire older women are usually looking for someone to share life with. And they understand that the sex is hotter with an older woman who is comfortable in her own skin and not afraid to ask for what she wants.
I have met the most wonderful bunch of men who are looking for my type on the Internet dating site. Like all areas of life where we meet people, you must be careful and use your judgment, but there is a kind of openness and shortcut to spelling it all out in writing first. Avoid the bars if you are looking for a relationship and not just a “Lay”.
Well, I’m only 25 but regardless of that, if a man is ONLY interested in the physical characteristics of a woman, he really doesn’t have much to offer in the first place.
I’m very close friends with a 41 year-old and so far, she’s really enjoying that site.
I highly doubt you’ll find a soulmate-type of man out at a bar or a similar place. Have you tried online dating? It’s a great way to meet people because you can learn a lot about a person (and they can learn a lot about you) just by reading your profile and reading about what kind of person you are, what exactly you’re looking for, and what kind of hobbies/activities you enjoy. I’d recommend a site like http://www.eharmony.com because you have the opportunity to answer a lot of questions about your likes/dislikes and it gives you a personaltiy profile and it matches you up with people based on your personality profile, so you’re more likely to get a compatible match. The great thing about this is that it won’t match you up with men who are looking for 25 year-olds because they will be looking for women your age. You’ve got nothing to lose by trying
Reading that question do make me realize there’re lot of women do experiences that same dilemma. Just don’t get so worry sis, U’re really not alone in this world. More people are suffering now with bigger problem. Not only they’re having war or fatal diseases there’re more to list here. But as to answer this question,-rejection is normal. Don’t u think people that’re younger than u never been rejected?. I’m 30 myself and I do dating a younger man and of cos I wanted a family but we never know whether we’re on the right tract or not. That’s why people said we only can plan but God is the one that make decision. Maybe our turn to build our own little family is not come yet..so all we can do is enjoy every moment that we have.
Be stoic! Yes. That’s the correct word. Sometimes don’t depend too much on people to make us happy. People changes and nothing last forever…I do think sometimes that I assume married people is much more happier than me but we never know their problems right…Accept rejection because that’s normal. Everyone experiences it. Be true to ourselves. Don’t let petty stuff destroy our chances to be happy.
Being 40 mean not losing yr cool under most circumstances and able to stand apart from the world and see how insignificant everything is. Be in peace. Do things that u enjoy n find some friends to turn too if u need a shoulder to cry on.That’s what I think.
I agree with ’ssmith’ and affirm one should stick to those values
considered most important. From my viewpoint the woman of a certain age is less dangerous than those in long years leading up to their “Big M”. Younger men might value that Post-M wisdom in all things but personally, friends, I’m fond of home cooking done right and knowing where she’ll be tonight.
Just figure out in as much detail what it is that you want and you will receive it. Don’t waste any time and effort thinking about what you don’t want or anything else that has a negative focus. For example, if you thought that you don’t want a woman like your cousin Pearl who goes dancing every weekend, then you are headed for one like her. Instead think about, and it’s a very good idea to write it down, whatever qualities you enjoy. You are creating the script for your future now and in your past so no better time to adjust it according to this formula, otherwise….recurrence. The same of course applies to deciding to remain single. I was single for one whole year of my adult life and I really enjoyed it. Take your pick . Hope this helps.
Hon, I am 56 years young and I sure don’t think I am not worth dating. Gravity and weight sure are having their way with me. But, hey I look great for my age. It is a matter of attitude.
I get rejection. and I reject guys all the time. Not, because we are too old and not good enough…….but because at this age I know what I need and what I can’t put up with. I sure am not going to make another mistake.
I get guys younger than you asking me out.
Many men I talk to don’t want the younger womem, they are morme self obsorbed and haven’t learned life’s lessons yet.
Keep your spirit and self young. And you will do fine. I so and see how old I am.
I am a retired professor of engineering. The following
are my observations:
(1) More than 50% of eligible males in the world are
living as bachelors according to news paper reports.
(2) The divorce rate in India is less than 6%; this
figure is the lowest in the world.
(3) The reason for low divorce rate in India is that
the pineal gland (in brain) of Indians is larger than that of any
one else in the world. (Donald Watson, A Dictionary of
Mind & Spirit, Rupa & co., New Delhi, 1991, page 244).
The pineal glad is third eye, it is the place where
male and female energies of the creation ‘meet’
according to ancient Yoga texts. This is the reason
why the divorce rate is low in India.
(4) ‘Flourit’ in English means age of dawning of
knowledge, it also means age of 40. (You will not find
this entry in a one volume dictionary, try multi-volume
dictionaries in a good library). Thoughts like
‘marrying yourself’, ‘concious about age’, ‘perspectives
of life’ or ‘deep inside’ are philosophical in nature
which have no meaning for youngsters.
(5) You are in this position now because of your past
Karma. Paramatma has chosen you, and every other person
for a particular purpose. The aim of life is to
understand the greatness of the creator. And to search
for the purpose for which a soul is given human life.
This purpose differs from person to person because it
is dependent on the past Karma of the soul. (It is as
different as our finger prints, no two are alike). But
one thing is sure. Human beings are the highest of all
creation. The rest of the creation is intended for the
use of human beings. How you use is dependent on your
mantal attitude. When you understand that pupose, then
you will derive the highest happiness of your life. The
one asset that we as Indians have which assures us that
we will succeed in a task like this is our large third
eye, Jnaana Nethram.
Just Be and what happens, happens. If you let go of your longing you will be happy whether or not you find somebody. That’s the most simple, best piece of advice I can give you. If you learn to accept what is and put your energy into what is in your life day to day you will be happy. You don’t have to try to distract yourself doing things like volunteer work (unless that is your niche); just do what you would normally and like to do. This took me a long time to learn but now that I get it I am happy.
And anyways, I know lots of men who are attracted to older women. There is someone for everybody in this world. Your clock isn’t ticking against you.