You see this was the fourth time a relationship had failed for me and I thought if I didn’t cling onto it I would never realise my dream of growing old with some one at my side. My future looked very bleak and lonely so I just had to cling on until my girlfriend realised how much she loved and missed me. Yea, yea that was going to happen. Of course, 6 months turned into a year and there was still no chance of her coming round, in fact she avoided me like the plague but I remained hopeful.

During all this time I compared every girl I met with my ex and in my mind none of them would do. I refused to date in case my ex heard about it; I thought dating would definitely put the seal on my delusion that she would come back. What a torturous life I was leading.

It all turned on its head one day when something happened that made me see things from a different angle. I few friends were going snow skiing and asked me to go along. I had no experience of skiing and the idea scared the hell out of me; mainly because I didn’t want to look foolish falling all over the mountain. I went along and as I expected I spent the first three days face down in the snow. It was all very humiliating especially when five year old tots were skiing past and making innocent remarks about “the man with one ski lying in the snow”.

The funny thing was that I slowly but surely made progress and with each new achievement I found my negative emotions being replaced with pride at my successes. I then started dreaming of getting off the nursery slopes and up the mountain with my friends. As each day passed I became more confident in my abilities and enthused about the prospect of skiing down the mountain. I had one final skill to master and it looked like it was going to be the undoing of my plans; I had to learn how to turn without falling flat on my face.

“Its easy you just have to lean downhill and your skis will follow”, you must be kidding me. Every survival instinct in my body was telling me to do the opposite, lean up the hill. Surely if I lean down the hill I will go head over heals all the way to the bottom; it was a long way to fall and I was having none of it. Eventually half way through the fourth day I got it; I faced my fears, looked down the precipitous slope and leaned down. Wow I couldn’t believe it, my skis swooped my round and I was traversing the slope in the opposite direction. I had cracked it.

So besides learning to ski I learned one other very important life lesson; sometimes we have to do the scary thing to get results. When I came back from that holiday my whole outlook had changed, I let go, started dating and became my old self. Guess what? A few months later my ex started communicating with me again, suddenly I had become attractive again but unfortunately for her I really had moved on by then.

Go on make that scary decision, let go, move on and start living again. Life is too short to spend lamenting about what we have lost.

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